Pro Bowl Breakdown

All over the airwaves, the telly, and the interwebs all of the talking heads are wasting your time talking about Super Bowl XLV, because they don’t have the skill to deliver what you, the people, really want and need… The Final Word on what will happen in the Pro Bowl. Who has that kind of skill? Only one man… The Swami! So here it is

Quarterbacks:
Tom Brady’s selfish decision to start his offseason early has put the AFC in a hole with one third of their QB’s not even being good enough to start in college. The NFC roster is full of Falcons and the QB position is no different. You have the QB who was paired with LaDanian to rebirth the Chargers, which was made possible by trading Michael Vick to Atlanta to be their franchise QB until he was kind enough to open a spot for Matt Ryan to become the new franchise. EDGE – NFC

Running Backs:
The running backs are an epic tag-team bout between Arian Foster (He’s Australian for Beer) & Jamaal Charles in Charge vs. Michael Turner and Hooch & Yo Adrian Peterson. Clearly this is no contest. Rocky has yet to lose to Scott Baio in a fair fight. EDGE – NFC

Wide Receiver:
We’re pulling no punches on this one, I’m just listing the receivers and you tell me if a single GM in the NFL would choose Group 1.
Group 1: Reggie Wayne, Brandon Lloyd, Dwayne Bowe, & Wes Welker
Group 2: Roddy White, Megatron, Larry Fitzgerald, & DeSean Jackson
Embarrassing that it isn’t even close, but Group 1 did put their best foot forward. EDGE – NFC

Tight End:
Again… if this is Hollywood week on American Idol and you split them into the two moving on and the two going home, only one conference can be chosen. (Gonzalez & Witten vs. Marcedes & Miller 2.0) Hands down. EDGE – NFC

Editor’s Note: It’s very likely that not having Brady, MJD, Andre Johnson, & Antonio Gates is handicapping the AFC a SMIDGE.

Fullback:
Fantastic use of the letter V on both sides. EDGE: Push

Offensive Line:
The buffet collapsed at Golden Corral Oahu. EDGE: AFC (it’s a pity vote)

Defense:
I’m sickened by the selfishness of a large number of defensive players that would rather sit on their tails for two weeks instead of participating in the showcase of great talent. Charles Woodson and James Harrison should be ashamed. The fact that Polomalu, Clay Matthews, & AJ Hawk would rather wash their hair than play is reprehensible. As a protest, I refuse to analyze the defenses.
EDGE – My Readers

Coaches:
Rex Ryan put his best foot forward by having his priorities right and allowed his family to sink their toes into the sandy beaches of Hawaii. He knew that it was more important to kick his feet up then spend too much time in Dallas. EDGE – AFC

So what does this all mean? It means that in a year that Atlanta has 9 Pro Bowlers and the Swami’s two favorite Lions are Pro Bowlers as well, the NFC is going to take care of business. And based on my picks recently, you can take it to the BANK! BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE! You are welcome!

THE SWAMI!

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Categories: Football

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