There was a lot of discussion in the offices of Random Thoughts Illustrated this week concerning how to preview the upcoming season. The interns wanted to be really creative and have some sort of flowchart that would guide you through the whole season and lead you to a final matchup. The accountants wanted to have a countdown from 32 of the most important numbers that would predict what will happen. The project management team from our consulting firm wanted either a GANTT Chart depicting over-utilization of certain players or a Swimlane diagram depicting the key relationships on each team. Of course when the Swami and the Guru sat down to make a final decision, they quickly determined that to invest the time and money necessary to pull of any of the other suggestions would be fiscally unsound considering the Mayans have clearly stated that we will not even see the end of this season. But on the off-chance that the Mayans simply got tired of writing a calendar that was already way past their existence and quit because they were thirsty, the boys decided that they should at least do a traditional prediction column.
Of course, for all of you used to watching the Swami & Guru disagree about a lot of things, this may not be your favorite preview. The guys were sequestered 275 miles apart to avoid cheating off each other, and yet their conclusions were eerily similar. Naturally this means that you know 1 of 3 things: 1) Clearly the Mayans are correct; 2) Green Bay fans are about to feel jinxed or 3) Absolutely NONE of what you are about to read will happen. Now without further ado… your 2012 NFL Preview:
Now, we did finally find an area or two where the Swami and Guru DO disagree, so we decided to save that part for last. When it comes to the Super Bowl Champions, the Guru is throwing his vote behind the Blue States of the NFC, while the Swami has pledged his electorate for the Red States of the AFC. (Editor’s Note: We cut off the rest of this because it was just full of bad election year “humor”. Trust us…we spared you great pain. Now, why don’t you just check out their playoff picks…)
So there you have it. If in fact the Mayans were a bunch of thirsty gentlemen that just got tired, you now can have 10% confidence that one of us is close to correct!
Until then… the 1st Siblings of Prognostication bid you farewell! (and they will now return to stabbing their effigies of Tevin Washington)