Swami the Magazine: May the Force Be With You

 

Those of us who go through life as nerds have long believed that there isn’t anything in the realm of consumer products that couldn’t benefit from having a Star Wars version of whatever that product is. I believe that the world is starting to catch onto that…but before I continue, I want to interrupt this blog post with a new segment we have here at StM called – You Have a Problem!

You Have a Problem

Riley Sheahan is a 20 year old that most Americans had not heard of before this week. He’s allegedly a very talented hockey prospect that was drafted by the Detroit Red Wings. (I say allegedly because no one knows if anyone is good at hockey because the people who run hockey are NOT good at their jobs…but I digress). But Riley Sheahan has a problem. The good folks in the state of Michigan are kind enough to help the rest of us understand blood-alcohol levels by adding a legal classification for those that have REALLY had too much to drink. Not only can you be classified as drunk, but in Michigan you can be charged as being Super Drunk. That background is important here. Riley was arrested this week… and I thought I would share the circumstances surrounding his arrest:

  • Mr. Sheahan was Super Drunk (.30 BAC)
  • Mr. Sheahan had a teammate’s ID which he admitted to using to get into bars because he was too young
  • Mr. Sheahan was Super Drunk…even when they got back to the police station, which is where he blew the .30
  • Mr. Sheahan drove in the wrong direction into oncoming traffic

It’s pretty clear by this point that this boy has a problem… but it just doesn’t get the point across until you hit the last part of the circumstances…

  • Mr. Sheahan was wearing a costume from the children’s television show the Teletubbies
  • Mr. Sheahan was Tinky Winky

To sum up… Riley Sheahan has a drinking problem that he needs help with. (And apparently Michigan lets 12 year olds come up with their technical terms for degrees of intoxication) Thank you, that is all for this Public Service Announcement.

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Ok, so back to why you came. As I said, you will struggle to find anything that isn’t improved by putting out a Star Wars version of itself. The Walt Disney company figured that out recently and just bought the whole franchise! Another group that realized this is the Finland based entertainment media company Rovio, best known for their Angry Birds franchise of games. I bring this up because Angry Birds Star Wars edition is my favorite iPad Mini app by far. I mean, you get a bird with a lightsaber! Anyway, the Swami was playing the game when he should have been working on this column, so that gave us the idea to make this an Angry Birds themed picks column! (Annoying Pig sound effects not included). So as we sit back and enjoy Championship Weekend, feel free to do so with your favorite tablet/smartphone/social media site version of Angry Birds! (Editor’s Note: If you are struggling to decide if you want to watch Georgia Tech in the ACC Championship game or Nebraska in the Big 14 Championship game, please take our advice and steer away from the ACC. You’ll thank us later…). Now let’s get on with…

The Picks!

Until next time… The Swami!

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Categories: Football, Sports General

1 reply

  1. All references to and images of Angry Birds are property of Rovio Inc. and all Star Wars references are property of the Walt Disney Corporation…

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