Normally we’d just hit the high points from the past weekend, but with the bowl season in full effect, we’ll actually stretch this one back to New Year’s Eve and go from there. As always, here’s the good and the bad of the weeks that were!
The Crimson Sabans – So much for different. Same coach, same QB, same school, same result. I’d say Nick Saban has figured out how to keep his kids prepped and ready to go for these games regardless of the layoff. There isn’t much more to say other than SOMEBODY ELSE PLEASE WIN NEXT SEASON!!
Hockey Fans – Everyone in Canada and Minnesota can finally rejoice! There WILL be hockey this year. Now if only they could drop the Stanley Cup on Gary Bettman’s head, all would be right with the world.
Texas A&M – Congratulations for being the most compelling answer to the oft-asked question “who would have been a 400% better opponent for Alabama last night?” Aside from the obvious reason (they already beat Alabama on the road), the Cotton Bowl reiterated why they were the best answer to that question. It’s not just that Johnny Football had one of the greatest post-Heisman win bowl performances of all time…which he did. It was that I have never seen a game where a defense limited yards after contact as proficiently as A&M did vs. Oklahoma. It was truly a clinic on the topic and would have been the best way to stem the Crimson Tide.
A Clowney Question Bro – The single biggest and most impactful hit/play of the college bowl season was the one that Clowney from South Carolina laid, exactly one play after the replacement refs (or those I presume to be replacement refs because they had no clue how to interpret the chain measurement) seemingly cost SC the game, to send helmet and football flying in different directions and get SC the ball back for the winning TD.
Georgia Tech – The Yellow Jackets FINALLY broke their ridiculously long bowl game losing streak and had far more people cheering for them than normal. (It’s always good to have the USC haters and the Lane Kiffin haters on the bandwagon!) Congrats to the GT seniors for going out on a high note.
The ACC – For once the conference stepped up and delivered during the bowl season! Georgia Tech rolled USC, VaTech beat Big Ten power Rutgers, Florida State actually won a BCS game, Louisville had one of the biggest upsets of the bowl games, Clemson took out SEC power LSU, Syracuse stymied Big XII-II stud West Virginia, and while they lost, Duke played one of the two most exciting games (that no one saw) of the bowl season and were tied with under a minute to go. Oh, and yes, I am already claiming a couple of teams that are moving to the ACC. And yes it is convenient that since Notre Dame is NOT moving their football program, I don’t have to break my rule in order to ignore claiming them as one of the conference. See…everything’s coming up roses!!
Doug Marrone – Of all of the college coaches that might be considered for NFL jobs back in November, I don’t think I EVER heard anyone list his name, and now he appears to be the only coach from a BCS program making the leap to the NFL. Congrats to Doug on riding that wave .
Chip Kelly – Chip was the hot name in NFL coaching searches and he proved that intelligence is why. He saw the openings that were being offered to him and realized that being the head coach at the University of Nike is a REALLY nice job and a nice place in life and the grass is definitively not greener on the other side. And, for that matter, the uniforms aren’t greener either.
Clark Hunt – Whether or not the new Chiefs’ administration works out will probably hinge more on the acquisition of a Quarterback & Offensive Line than on the hiring of a head coach, but I have to give Clark Hunt kudos for knowing who he wanted, jumping to the front of the line, and making a compelling enough case that the Arizona Cardinals are now having to talk to Todd Haley. So thanks Clark, for proving that while the Chiefs were irrelevant this season, as a franchise, there just might still be some hope .
We Are The Fallen
Minnesota Vikings Fan – Poor Minnesota Vikings fan. You make the 5 hour drive from Minneapolis to the hated Tundra of Green Bay with hope. You play nice while tailgaiting next to a host of folks grilling sausages and wearing Queso on their heads. Then you get a text from a co-worker telling you that you paid money to watch Joe Webb start against Aaron Rodgers. So after getting depressed and then suffering through the game, you have to have your post-game tailgate still surrounded by the Queso Family and then go to bed surrounded by visions of Aaron Rodgers and Clay Matthews. America should feel bad for Vikings Fan. We call ours Brett.
Rex Ryan – Dude… at least when I got a tattoo of my wife wearing only a football jersey, I picked Tommie Frazier’s number instead of Lawrence Phillips’!! I mean…you got Sanchez’s number?! You have GOT to think through these decisions a bit longer and a bit more sober! (For the purposes of family members and friends who fainted, I didn’t really get that tattoo… that you know of) Ladies and Gentlemen, The New York Jets!!
Mike Shanahan – Were you the ONLY person who was watching RGIII and didn’t think “He looks really rough…He probably shouldn’t be out there risking next year when Cousins is pretty good and could probably handle this”?! Great googily moogily.
Grass – And speaking of looking rough… the grass on the field in Washington caused all grass across this great land of ours to cringe and hang its head in shame. That was PATHETIC! Either overhaul it or install some field turf. It’s the first home playoff game in Washington in years and THAT is what you have out there?!
The Lakers – They’ve been so busy worrying about losing market share of the city of Los Angeles to the Clippers that they have overlooked the part where they have a losing record and no continuity!! It is not a pretty picture for the Purple and Gold. Which, if you don’t know, makes me very happy.
The BCS – Thankfully, the BCS is dead. It’s not as exciting as saying Bin Laden is dead, but it still does make me smile. At least next season we’ll have 4 teams that can play for it all. Someday we should get to 8, but at this point, I will take the 4 happily. A shorter layoff and far less rusty teams in the title game sounds really good.
2012 – You threatened us with the end of the world and crushing economics. You only delivered on one of them. I’m happy to see you go.
Darnell Dockett – Wow… I really would like to know whether stupidity or arrogance is going to ultimately take credit for this one. It’s a close fight between the two, that’s for sure (which means it’s likely an XXL sized portion of both). So, as America gets uncomfortable listening to Brent Musberger be a little too complimentary of AJ McCarron’s girlfriend, the thought that jumps into your head is that you should hit on her?! His girlfriend?! So then you can’t figure out twitter well enough to know when you are sending a private message and when you are sending a public statement and you post your real phone number and ask her (mind you, a former Miss Alabama in a presumably happy relationship with the Quarterback of the University of Alabama) to join you for wings and a trip to a strip club!?!?!?! Seriously?! Kids…don’t do drugs, don’t eat paint chips, and avoid head injuries. This message is brought to you by the Ad Council and the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. (I do give kudos to AJ for tweeting back to Darnell that he should focus on trying to make the playoffs instead of on getting her to go to the “club”).
@TornCartledge – “Christian Ponder was limited in practice today.” – That’s ok he’s been limited in games all season!! #ZING (Wow…when I tweeted that I had no clue that he’d miss the game… man Webb made him look GOOD!)
Arian Foster – It wasn’t a tweet, but when Foster took a screen shot of an article in the Boston paper calling the Texans, in essence, garbage that equates to a bye week for the Patriots, and made it his profile picture, that said far more than words. I’m really looking forward to his performance on Sunday!
@clubtrillion – Feel bad for RGIII. Not so much bc he blew out his knee again, but more bc thanks to AP he’ll be a failure if he doesn’t win MVP next year. (So true)
@TornCartledge – #TweetYourFear is trending… right above 113th Congress. I’m pretty sure the 113th Congress is my current biggest fear so it’s fitting!!
@NatePlay60 – BREAKING – Chiefs/Jaguars having the first two picks in the upcoming draft, I have decided to stay another year in elementary school. (If you’ve seen the commercial with this kid talking about taking Cam Newton’s starting QB position, it makes this pretty funny)
@AdamSchefter – This year’s AFC Final Four – Broncos, Pats, Texans, Ravens – is same as last year’s AFC Final Four, first time this has happened, via Elias. (Surprising that it has NEVER happened before)
@TornCartledge – Stephen Jackson fought fans in the Rumble at the Palace. Last night the fans/waitresses fought back, injuring Jackson #CircleOfLife (If you missed it, Jackson tripped over a court-side waitress for Mayor Bloomberg and sprained his ankle)
@McMurphyESPN – Bob Stoops must think this is a BCS bowl (Ouch…that’s not a compliment)
@WhitlockJason – KC BBQ restaurants release statement welcoming Andy Reid: “The void left by Whitlock’s move west has finally been filled. Thanks, Clark.” (Hilarious)
@TornCartledge – If all was right in the world Dale Murphy, Edgar Martinez, & Craig Biggio would make it in the Hall of Fame this week. Just sayin’. #MLBHOF (Not holding my breath, but my ballot would have them in)
@McMurphyESPN – Nick Saban: “I pride myself on being able to anticipate what comes next (but) never been able to anticipate the Gatorade bath”
Bowl Pick Recap
It was quite a showing in the picks competition between the Guru & the Swami. First, congratulations to the Guru who did a very nice job of erasing his regular season struggles with a strong bowl season of predictions. As a reminder, the Guru and Swami picked all of the games and then they also picked their “Locks” which were worth two correct, or incorrect picks. So we’ll give you their “Lock” records, their weighted score (+1 or +2 on wins, -1 or -2 on losses…sum up from there), and their overall records So here’s the recap:
- Locks: 4-1 (Head to Head Lock: 0-1)
- Weighted Score: +15
- Overall Record: 23-12
- Locks: 3-2 (Head to Head Lock: 1-0)
- Weighted Score: +15
- Overall Record: 24-11
So we have a tie! But with a tiebreak of Overall Record (which was arbitrarily chosen after the fact…), the winner of the bowl picks is The Swami! But kudos to both men for getting over 65% of their picks correct and not embarrassing Random Thoughts Illustrated to the point that one of them would have to be fired!
Until next time…