Swami the Magazine – Uniformity

This is one of those weeks where the Swami would LOVE to churn out 2 columns a day with everything going on in the sports world, but alas, the advent of 36 hour days has not yet come. So he will focus first on the games of this coming weekend. Why are we emphasizing this coming weekend? Because last weekend was a black eye for the Swami and he REALLY would like to forget it. (Kind of like what all of the Missouri fans are thinking! ZING!)

Ok, so this week we will give a visual walk-through of one of the facets of the game that the Swami finds particularly interesting… the uniforms. (Editor’s Note: It is rumored that this became the focus when the Swami looked at the Nebraska uniforms for this weekend and repeatedly banged his head on his desk. According to anonymous sources….) 

The Picks (32-9)

Texas Tech v. Oklahoma State – Quantity of uniforms and the Swami’s favorite color win the day – Oklahoma State 33-28OSU

UCLA v. Arizona State – Tridents are not to be trifled with – Arizona State (+6) ASU

Illinois v. Nebraska – Pretty sure this is an experiment to see if opponents’ retinas can be violated without penalty – Nebraska 31-27 NUNU2

Tennessee v. Georgia – I remember when these games actually were memorable on the field than on the hanger – Georgia 28-17 UGA

Minnesota v. Michigan – The Wolverines have been angling for a Fruit Stripe gum endorsement for years now – Michigan 28-24 Mich

Florida State v. NC State – For the record… you may have messed up when you are willing to revert back to previous uniform designs MID-SEASON. Florida State 34-24 FSU

Arkansas v. Texas A&M – I can only favor the pigs if Bacon is on the menu – Texas A&M 27-20A&M

Texas v. Kansas – As long as these unis exist, Kansas will earn my scorn – Texas 7-6 Kansas

Stanford v. Washington – Huskies are supposed to be the mascot, not the size of pants (Editor’s note: No one has any idea what he’s talking about here) – Stanford 27-24 Stanford

Missouri v. South Carolina – M – I – Z… Z – Oh – No!!! Not feeling a Division repeat this season – South Carolina 24-17 SC

Duke v. Miami – The Canes have trotted out new duds this year. And played like duds. – Duke 34-33 Miami

The Guru’s Take (1-1)

The Guru Curse is broken!  Okay, it does seem more likely that it assumed the Cal-Arizona game was over a minute early, but still – the Guru won!  On a Hail Mary!  Adulation! Wild cheering!  Overstating things!  Anyway, in order to test whether the curse is broken for real, the Guru will be picking an SEC East game.  No, not UGA-Tennessee.  The other one.  South Carolina barely beat Vanderbilt, but that was a letdown after the big win over Georgia.  Missouri, on the other hand, lost to Indiana.  IN-DI-AN-A.  So of course the Guru is going to pick Missouri, on the road, to upset South Carolina.  The fact is that Matty Mauk is one of the better QBs in the SEC.  South Carolina’s secondary and special teams have issues.  Missouri is going to exploit them.  In a barnburner (first use of “barnburner” in the 2014 season…), the Tigers will take out the Gamecocks.  38-34.

In case you’re curious… this is how the Guru celebrates victory with the fans: AJ

James & the Swamettes (6-3)

Falcons v. Vikings – The elder Swamette spent the picks meeting discussing the merits of one braid vs. two and the princesses that back her up on that point. I said the Vikings enter into that discussion as well. – Falcons 27-21 viking

Packers v. Bears –  The youngest Swamette said it best, “Gurgle furgle daddy AAAAAAAAAAAAAA”. So… Packers 20-17Pack

Patriots v. Chiefs – Monday Night. Arrowhead Stadium. Royals will have just made the playoffs. Parking lot opens at 3. Crowd will be loud. James is definitely taking the home underdog. Chiefs +3 1/2 (Note: there’s nothing crazy or real unique about the Chiefs uniforms, so I thought I would just showcase the best set of uniforms in all of soccer) Chiefs

 

Until next time… THE SWAMI!

Oh, and Go Royals!!!Blue October

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Categories: Football

Tags: , , , , ,

2 replies

  1. All this Royals propaganda may cause me to rethink my subscription 😉 Go Tigers!

  2. Insecurity from a Tigers fan regarding the Royals?! It is definitely a new day! #HuntForBlueOctober

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