Hi Ho, JC the Swami here. It’s time for a new edition of Swami the Magazine, on location from the creature closet of Jim Henson. That’s right, for a generation of us, the Muppets were an institution. Being less than a week away from the new show is an exciting thing! So that’s why the StM staff is allowing The Swami to have his way and do a full Muppet Edition of The Magazine. And The Swami is happy. So without further ado… you get a Muppet with every pick this week!
Georgia Tech @ Notre Dame – Animal – One of the biggest games of the season in week 3. Even if the Domers were at full strength I’d pick the Jackets, but with the Irish on their #2 QB Tech can smell blood in the water. Look for the boys from Atlanta to go Animal all over the Irish – Georgia Tech 38-34
Clemson @ Louisville – Pepe the King Prawn – One of the newest Muppets for one of the newest ACC teams. And I expect Louisville to hold up just as well as a prawn against a Tiger. – Clemson 38-21
Florida State @ Boston College – Miss Piggy – The Seminoles are looking to build momentum by beating the Eagles like Piggy beats Kermit – FSU 31-20
Nebraska @ Miami – Kermit – It’s not easy being green. It’s also not easy wearing green. But is it easier to be green or Greeny? The Huskers don’t care. They just want to spoil the party. – Nebraska +4
Northwestern @ Duke – Scooter – The nerdiest Muppet for the matchup between the smartest schools. But who will have the best moves? – Duke 27-24
Auburn @ LSU – Beaker – Meep meep meep. Meep Meep. Meep Meep Meep. Meaux Meep. – LSU 21-17
South Carolina @ Georgia – Rowlf – The biggest challenge in this game is who finds their rhythm quicker. Rowlf makes me think you should bet on the dawgs. Georgia 34-20
Ole Miss @ Alabama – Rizzo – Until last year, Alabama has made Ole Miss feel like Rizzo each year they play (at least in recent history). Last year Ole Miss was the star. So what happens this year? The Swami is thinking things go back to normal. But hopefully Alabama will be nice and will light the lamp. Alabama 41-21
Stanford @ USC –Swedish Chef – We’ll keep it simple. Based on what we’ve seen so far, Stanford will be less effective than Flapjacks in this one. USC 34-13
BYU @ UCLA – Gonzo – UCLA is poised to roll over the Cougars in this one, but based on the past couple of weeks, anything can happen now that BYU completed Gonzo’s course on Enlightenment. Don’t bet against them. BYU +17
Tulsa @ Oklahoma – Statler & Waldorf – You only care about this game if you are Alumni or Statler & Waldorf. Oklahoma 45-17
Texas – Fozzie Bear – Ok, I don’t care about the Texas game, but with the firing of the AD after various other recent issues, this squad resembles a Fozzie Bear stand-up act. And considering his cousin Fozzy Whittaker is from there, it couldn’t make more sense.
The Guru’s Take
Oklahoma is flying high off its Guru-propelled victory over the Volunteers – now the Guru will try to use his powers for good yet again to cause the toppling of Nick Satan. Ole Miss upset Alabama last year, and everyone knows Bama doesn’t want it to happen twice in a row. But the Ole Miss offense is back to full speed, and Bama is known to occasionally give up big plays to high-powered offenses. If the Rebels can show enough defense in Tuscaloosa to slow down Bama’s pro style attack, they’ll double last year’s upset, double their fun. One question, though: What is the Rebels’ favorite running play? IT’S A TRAP! (Google “Admiral Ackbar Ole Miss mascot” if that doesn’t make sense to you). Ole Miss 27, Bama 23
James & The Swamettes
Not to be left out, James and the Swamettes have elected to pick a Sesame Street character for a couple of NFL games.
James – Cookie Monster – Falcons v. Giants – After last week’s debacle, James expects the Giants to come out inspired and… aw, who cares. GET JAMES A COOOOOKIIEEE!!!! Falcons 27-24
The Swamette 2.0 – Who Else? – Chiefs v. Broncos – The second Swamette is convinced that only one team will win this game. RO-RO’s!!!!! (So Swamette 1.0 picked the Chiefs 28-27)
Until Next time… The SWAMI!