Swami the Magazine: Playing for Peanuts

Greetings and welcome to another edition of Swami the Magazine! Now two of you may have noticed that there wasn’t a column last week and I’m sure that it made a 1% difference to you. Well thank you for noticing. The truth is that the Swami was completely wrapped up in The World Series and just needed to focus on the Royals’ FIRST CHAMPIONSHIP IN 30 YEARS!!! Ok, so he’s still excited. Anyway, that’s now history and he’s back to return a sense of normalcy to the world.Crowded

This weekend, the U.S. is being graced with a new Peanuts movie for the first time in a very long time, and in honor of that we will give each of this week’s games a Peanuts character that goes with it. So without further ado…

The Picks!

Michigan St. v. Nebraska – I know you’re thinking Pig Pen on this one for the Husker season, but frankly I find it more annoying than ugly… So you get Lucy! It’s also fitting because it’s felt like she’s yanked the football out from in front of the Huskers multiple times this season. Michigan State 30-20Lucy

Florida St. v. Clemson – Well, the Tigers are #1 in the playoff rankings so that’s got to be Snoopy! Clemson 34-28Snoopy

TCU v. Oklahoma State – This could be the best game of the weekend that half of the country is ignoring. Kind of like how Franklin is good at everything but you forgot to notice! TCU 45-42PEANUTS

Auburn v. Texas A&M – The Aggies seemed to be Charlie Brown to Texas for years, but now that no one has seen the boys from Austin for more than one week at a time for quite a while, maybe Charlie Brown will finally get a win! Texas A&M 33-31 Charlie

Minnesota v. Ohio State – The Buckeyes are the Pig Pen of college football. It’s not pretty, but it keeps getting the job done. Ohio State 33-27Pig Pen

LSU v. Alabama – The Tigers find the Crimson Tide as annoying as Peppermint Patty.  LSU 28-24Patty

South Carolina v. Tennessee – Now that Spurrier retired, the Gamecocks press conferences are as exciting as Marcie. Tennessee 35-26Marcie

Arkansas v. Ole Miss – Linus’ blanket matches the vintage Ole Miss helmets… so, yeah! Ole Miss 28-27Linus

Duke v. North Carolina – The Blue Devils have to feel like Sally was officiating the final play last week vs. Miami and Linus walked by part-way through it and she didn’t see anything else that happened. Duke 27-21Sally

Notre Dame v. Pitt – The Fighting Irish are chasing the College Football Playoff like Charlie Brown pining for the Little Red Haired Girl. But they’re going to have a similar result. Just not this week. Notre Dame 42-17LRHG

The Guru’s Take

After a week respite for the Swami to enjoy a well-earned celebration for the Royals’ championship, the Guru is back and ready to continue his hot streak.  This week, one matchup outshines them all – the undefeated LSU Tigers and the always-formidable Alabama Crimson Tide.  Bama has looked beatable this year, with a loss to Ole Miss and a squeaker of a win at home over Tennessee.  LSU, particularly Leonard Fournette, have looked unstoppable (side note:  classy move by Fournette to text Nick Chubb encouragement and his favorite Bible verse after Chubb’s knee was destroyed).  But this is Bama-LSU, in Tuscaloosa, under the lights.  Both teams have Heisman-worthy running backs.  Both have solid defenses.  It will be a low-scoring, high-intensity affair.  But the X-factor is (I can’t believe I’m saying this) Lane Kiffin.  As an offensive coordinator, he’s pulled a rabbit out of the Tide’s hat more than once, and he’ll do it again here.  Crimson Tide 17, Tigers 14

James & the Swamettes

With the Chiefs off this week, the kids combined to say that the Falcons will take out Blaine Gabbert and the 49ers like Snoopy taking out The Red Baron! Atlanta 31-14

707_150_175_4K_UniversalColor_WB_: Snoopy takes to the skies over Paris, to battle his arch nemesis. Photo credit: Twentieth Century Fox & Peanuts Worldwide LLC

Until next time… The Swami!!


Categories: Football

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1 reply

  1. In little football (Div. II), Northwest Missouri State is on national TV on Saturday night (CBS Sports Network, or Channel 62 in KC) to wrap up another MIAA conference title against Emporia State. Just like Schroeder, Northwest keeps playing the hits, regardless how much others attempt to distract. Last week it was little brother Missouri Western who took the beating. This week, with all of Div. II looking at Maryville, I expect Northwest to take care of business against those pesky Hornets. NW 35 – ESU 10.

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