Swami the Magazine: Thanksgiving Blitz

Welcome to another edition of “The Guru is smoking the Swami like a Turkey”! This week is our special Thanksgiving edition and as such, wait?! It’s already Friday?! Well, instead of a long and eloquent column, this weeks’ picks will come at you like an all-out blitz! So here are random (and not properly vetted) Thanksgiving facts with each of your picks! thnksgiving

The Picks!

GT v. Miami j- Georgia Tech 30-28 – The first Thanksgiving celebration lasted three days. (Coincidentally, that’s how long it can take for Tech to complete a pass of over 8 yards)

UNC v. Virginia Tech – North Carolina 24-17 – Benjamin Franklin wanted the turkey to be the national bird of the United States. Instead, somehow turkeys are kind of a mascot for the Hokies.

Michigan v. Penn St. – Michigan 40-31 – In 1939, President Roosevelt proclaimed that Thanksgiving would take place on November 23rd, not November 30th, as a way to spur economic growth and extend the Christmas shopping season. Some states revolted and kept celebrating at the normal time. Congress to passed a law on December 26, 1941, ensuring that all Americans would celebrate a unified Thanksgiving on the fourth Thursday of November every year.

UCLA v. Utah – UCLA 38-35 – Turkeys will have 3,500 feathers at maturity. The immature ones only have 3,200.

LSU v. Ole Miss – Ole Miss 31-30 – The first TV dinner was Thanksgiving leftovers. Kind of reminds you of Friday lunches at the cafeteria in college.

Northwestern v. Wisconsin – Wisconsin 30-20 – There are 3 towns named Turkey in the US. There is a country named Turkey not in the US. There are hundreds of Turkeys that run the US.

Michigan St. v. Ohio St. – Michigan St. +13 1/2 – The original Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade used live animals from the Central Park Zoo. The Pilgrim’s also had the animals from Central Park contribute to their spread.

Mississippi St. v. Arkansas – Arkansas 28-24 – The average person consumes 4500 calories on Thanksgiving day–enough to gain 1.3 pounds. The average swimmer consumes that at breakfast each day, so get your trunks on and go nuts on the buffet!

Baylor v. Oklahoma St. – Oklahoma State 42-41 – Jingle Bells was originally a Thanksgiving song. As was Party in the U.S.A. Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel was not.

TCU v. Oklahoma – Oklahoma 45-42 – A 16-week-old turkey is called a fryer. A five to seven month-old turkey is called a young roaster. A 40-year-old turkey is called lucky.

The Guru’s Take

Now that the Guru appropriately inspired the Sooners to take down Baylor last week, it is time to keep the GURUSTREAK going by picking the Pac-12 game of the week. Despite the double-overtime loss at Arizona last week, Utah could still win the Pac-12 South. UCLA could do the same if they win out. The Utes have been especially tough at home this season, with both losses occurring on the road. UCLA comes into Salt Lake City with a better road record than home record. Something has to give, and that something is going to be UCLA’s defense. Devontae Booker should have a strong game on the ground, allowing Utah to control the clock, and the Utes will send home the SoCal boys with a season-deflating loss. Utes 31, Bruins 27


Categories: Football


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