Swami the Magazine: Back to the Future

This weekend the Swami is heading back to the country of his birth (Atlanta, GA) for his 20th high school reunion. In honor of that milestone that screams “You’re almost 40!” the staff here at StM thought it would be fun to unearth the time capsule and see whether there are signs of progress or whether the more things change, the more they stay the same. So with each game, you will get a Then & Now comparison. For some, this will be a walk down memory lane. For others, this will be a history lesson. For all you history lesson people… please don’t point out that it’s a history lesson because that just makes the staff feel even older.  Now, without further ado…

The Picks!

Clemson v. Georgia Tech – Highest Grossing Films

  • 1996: Independence Day
  • 2016: Captain America: Civil War   (NOT Independence Day Resurgence)

Well, we clearly still like heroes and blowing things up. I’m perfectly comfortable with no change on that front (though trying to reboot Independence Day was a downer). Unfortunately, I’m not comfortable with this outcome. Clemson 35-28

Nebraska v. Northwestern – State of Nebraska Football

  • Jan 1996: Nebraska beat Florida 62-24 in the Fiesta Bowl to win the national championship
  • Sept 2016: Nebraska beat Oregon 35-32 to claw back into national consciousness… for a little while

For fans in the Cornhusker State the past 20 years have not exactly been an improvement. But hopefully there’s a glimmer of hope that the program is bouncing back. At least until they run into Ohio State. Nebraska 27-21nu-ring

Georgia v. Ole Miss – The Olympiad

  • 1996: Summer Olympics in Atlanta
  • 2016: Summer Olympics in Rio

Gotta give ’96 the leg up here. Aside from the bombing (which was a major point against), Atlanta really did a much better job than Rio. Plus, Atlanta is still using the facilities built for the Olympics 20 years later while some venues in Rio went dormant forever 20 minutes after the gold medal ceremony. Also giving the leg up to Ole Miss. UGA has been dodging close calls all season, but this one isn’t going their way. Ole Miss 34-24The 1996 US Women's Gymnastic's Olympic Team (L-R)

Wisconsin v. Michigan State – The State of our Favorite Plumber

  • 1996: The Nintendo 64 console was released. As a note, games could not be played on the most popular phone that year, the Motorola StarTAC.
  • 2016: Nintendo releases a brand new Mario game that can ONLY be played on Apple phones.

I might have to call this a push (though I imagine Android users have a different opinion). The advancement from a StarTac to an iPhone7 is a HUGE bonus for 2016. On the other hand, the Nintendo 64 delivered a lot of time-killing fun in college. This game however will not be a push. Wisconsin struggled to put away Georgia State (who I will note uses former Olympic Housing as dorms… see what I did there?!) last week and Michigan State is rolling. Michigan State 38-24mario

Florida v. Tennessee – Lady Vols Legacy

  • 1996: The Tennessee Lady Vols win National Championship over Georgia
  • 2016: Legendary Tennessee Lady Vols coach Pat Summitt passed away

*Moment of Silence*. Yeah, so this is a big downer 20 years later, but the legacy is set in stone and will be forever remembered as the sound of Rocky Top plays. Hopefully, Volunteer Nation will be singing that song at the end of this game. Tennessee 30-28summitt

Penn State v. Michigan – Microsoft Windows and Internet Explorer

  • 1996: Microsoft released both Windows NT & Internet Explorer 3  
  • 2016: Windows 10 is in its second year of existence and Microsoft ceased supporting Internet Explorer (because Google now runs the world)

Finally a win for 2016! The death of Internet Explorer is a good thing for everyone and the rise of Google also bodes well for the world. At least until they become SkyNet. The Fighting Harbaughs are also rising again.  Michigan 31-13ie3

LSU v. Auburn – The NBA Record Book

  • 1996: Bulls win record 72 games and the Title
  • 2016: Warriors win record 73 games but not the Title

So close to being an upgrade, but the Warriors fell short. They won the most games and have a more likable star than the Bulls did (personality-wise) but they didn’t finish things off when it counted. However, this team in Yellow will get the job done and it won’t be super close. LSU -3 ½bulls

Oklahoma State v. Baylor – The State of America’s Team

  • 1996: The Cowboys beat the Steelers in the Super Bowl
  • 2016: The Cowboys only dream of Super Bowls

As long as Jerry Jones is boss, I’ll consider 2016 the way things should be. Upgrade! Unfortunately, things for the other Cowboys also aren’t looking up in 2016. Baylor 54-48romo

Stanford v. UCLA – The State of Coffee(?)

  • 1996: The first version of Java programming language was released. Many are confused as to whether or not you are talking about a drink.
  • 2016: Java released several updates to the 8th installment of the Java programming language. Many are confused as to why they have a coffee logo.

As a non-coffee drinker, I’ll give the edge to the present where your interweb experience is enhanced by something other than caffeine. Also enhanced? The Stanford football program. Stanford 28-24java

Arkansas v. Texas A&M – Major League Baseball Legendsjrpz2

  • 1996: Ken Griffey Jr. hits his 200th career HR & Mike Piazza wins the All-Star Game MVP
  • 2016: Ken Griffey Jr. & Mike Piazza are inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame

1996 is less of a comparison and more causation when it comes to 2016. And anything having to do with Griffey is great so we’ll call this a push. In this game, we’ll see if the Razorbacks are ready to push through the ceiling that’s been holding them down in recent years. Arkansas +6jrpz

Bonus: The State of the Union

  • 1996: Bill Clinton elected President
  • 2016: Great Googily Moogilysou

Check, please!!!

The Guru’s Take

The Guru is still recovering from the craziness that embodied Week 3 (how nice of the Swami to flip the script that week…). For this week, though, he is glad that OU has a week off to lick its wounds. Instead, the Guru will go an hour north to Stillwater…and then fly to Waco since the Cowboys are on the road against Baylor. Last week OkieSU looked solid against a very good Pitt squad, and is ready for a shootout with the Bears. Baylor is a double-digit favorite, yet the Guru has a hunch that they will fall flat on Saturday. Look for Mason Rudolph to have the orange pistols firing enough for the shocking win. OSU 48, Baylor 45

Bonus Time Capsule –  The Guru is a little older than the Swami, so we thought we would compare 22 years ago with the present:

  • 1994: Star Trek Generations
  • 2016: Star Trek Beyond

Definitely an upgrade there!

James & the Swamettes

Much like their dad, James and the Swamettes wanted to do a throwback theme. So the kids chose their favorite animated film from the year they were born to go with each game:

The Crown-Princess Swamette2006 – Cars: Just like Chick Hicks won dirty, Dallas will also win dirty. Cowboys 24-17 over the Bears

James – 2008 – Kung Fu Panda: The Panda upsets Wall-E just like the Falcons will upset the Saints. Falcons 34-31

Princess Firecracker – 2013 – Frozen: The Chiefs are looking for the Jets to Let it Go one too many time on offense. Chiefs 27-24

Until next time… THE SWAMI!


Categories: Football

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1 reply

  1. Cornshucker fans pining for the return of Tommie Frazier and Mike Rozier.

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