Swami the Magazine – Maraca Gaming

It’s been around 5 years since the StM crew worked on a week like this, so they felt like it was worth bringing it back. Maraca Gaming may not mean anything to you, but does Anagram Magic?! That’s right, the crew has decided that everyone needs more anagrams in their life so we’ve worked up an anagram from the names of both schools paired off against each other this weekend. Now, the only issue with that is that it’s hard to come up with pictures that go with anagrams. The art department at StM completely punted on that idea and decided to throw out pictures of the best bobbleheads and the like that they’ve found. What does that have to do with the picks? Nothing! But it avoids too much white space, which apparently was something I yelled at them about in the past. Since it’s proof they actually listened…once… I’ll let this slide. (And if you want to give them as presents, the Swami will happily take them!) Now, before we get to the picks, let’s look back on last week for just a minute:

Ok, that felt good. So now let’s move on to…

The Picks!

Pittsburgh vs. Georgia Tech – A Butcher’s Tightrope Gig – You know, butchers do kind of walk a tightrope with their swinging cleavers. Just like running the triple-option in 2016. #Turnovers #NewDirection. Pittsburgh 34-28 chipper

Minnesota vs. Iowa – Animation Woes – Iowa has been having all kinds of woes this season and the hits just keep on coming. Minnesota 27-17vinMaryland vs. Penn State – Tyrants Need Napalm – I don’t know about “need” but I would guess they are bigger fans than most! The Turtles hope to Napalm the Lions this weekend. Maryland 24-17foley

Oklahoma vs. Texas – Koala Axes Moth – But was he assaulting him, or asking a question? Either way, the Sooners win the Red River Shootout by the blade of an ax. Oklahoma 33-30sager

Florida vs. LSU – Salutatorian Foils Idea – The Guru was Salutatorian so this makes PERFECT sense to me! Alas, the folks at LSU have foiled all of Les Miles’ good ideas. Florida 28-27werth

Mississippi State vs. Auburn – Bipartisan Sit-up Misuses – I hate to go political, but the misuse of sit-ups is out of hand and it’s not just one party. It’s time to reach across the aisle and make sit-ups great…for the first time. Mississippi State 41-35archer

North Carolina vs. Virginia Tech – Rich Vacationing Rhino Alert – If you aren’t concerned about rich vacationing rhinos, then you aren’t an American. North Carolina 34-30bream

Tennessee vs. Texas A&M – Teases Next Enemas – I don’t know that teasing enemas is ever a good plan. Tennessee keeps teasing fate with early deficits and epic comebacks. If they ever avoid the early hole, they could be a force. Tennessee +6.5lloyd

Alabama vs. Arkansas – Baas Rank A Salaam – This was the worst of the anagrams, but this matchup is NOT suited for good ones. So you should just skip the game. I mean, it’s Alabama and Arkansas and I’m giving two touchdowns! Alabama -14maddon

Miami vs. Florida State – Admiral, Eat If Moist – It seems likely that these are the instructions found at the head table on an aircraft carrier when analyzing whether or not to partake of the cake. Words to live by. Miami 38-35junior

The Guru’s Take

[Editor’s Note: This pick was edited from it’s original content due to the cancellation of the Florida-LSU game]
There are plenty of good games in the SEC this week, and the Swami originally served two up to the Guru on a silver platter. Unfortunately, Hurricane Matthew has forced the cancellation of Florida-LSU (since Florida would not agree to move it to Baton Rogue), so you’ll just have to assume the Guru’s LSU pick would have been right and the Guru will stick with one pick this week. Mississippi State is at home against Auburn in a near pick’em game, but the Tigwarereagles are better than their record. They beat LSU, narrowly lost to Clemson, and should be able to win this one on the road. Auburn 27, MSU 20. And any of you on the East Coast – please stay safe.

(This is the WORST bobblehead ever, and if you want to get it for me it will only be used to see what happens when a bobblehead gets broken)hrbek

James and the Swamettes

The kids wanted to see what anagrams come from the pro games as well, so we’ll keep rolling with the theme.

Falcons v. Broncos – Bacon Corn Floss – Is the floss made of corn tassels and flavored with bacon? ’cause if so, you might have a winner!! The Fractured Swamette also thinks that the Broncos may have a winner. Denver 42-35ron-hunter

Vikings v. Texans – Vexing Ant Skis – Who isn’t vexed by ants that can go skiing?! I know James is. He is not, however, vexed concerning the Vikings potential to win. They’ve got this. Minnesota 24-13mous

Patriots v. Browns – Rowboats Sprint – I’m not sure that Swamette the Redux quite grasps how rowboats work, but I guess they could conceptually sprint. She’s pretty sure that the Browns will look like a rowboat racing the Patriots’ speedboat this week though. Have pity on the Browns. Belichek and Brady are both angry and that does not bode well for the dog pound.  New England 56-10jobu


Categories: Sports General

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