Swami the Magazine: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

Greetings and welcome to another edition of Swami the Magazine. Since we are in the home stretch of the Presidential election cycle, it seemed like a good time to break out some presidential facts to go with each match-up this week and some classic presidential candidate campaign buttons for your enjoyment. Now before that, the staff just wanted to point out that The Swami was right about the Ohio State game last week. Just sayin’. Now let’s get to…

The Picks!!

Nebraska v. Purdue – James Buchanan is the only President to serve his whole term with no First Lady. Nebraska 34-17reagan

Louisville v. NC State – Grover Cleveland was the only president in history to hold the job of a hangman. Louisville 38-28roosevelt

Wisconsin v. Iowa – Thomas Jefferson and John Adams once traveled to Stratford-upon-Avon to visit Shakespeare’s birthplace. While there, they took a knife to one of Shakespeare’s chairs so they could take home some wood chips as souvenirs. Wisconsin 45-17nixon

Alabama v. Texas A&M – Gerald Ford was the only person to be both vice president and president without being elected by the people. Alabama 34-20lbj

Auburn v. Arkansas – William McKinley, Grover Cleveland, and James Madison are on the $500, $1000, and $5000 bill, respectively. The bills are still used as legal tender but are no longer being printed. Auburn 31-30jfk

LSU v. Ole Miss – Every so often, Calvin Coolidge would press all the buttons on the President’s desk and hide and watch his staff run in. He would then pop out from behind the door and say that he was just seeing if everyone was working. LSU 27-24ike

Texas v. Kansas State – It was so cold at Ulysses S. Grant’s presidential inauguration that the canaries that were supposed to sing at the inaugural ball froze to death. Texas 35-24perot

Maryland v. Michigan State –  Robert Lincoln is the only man in U.S. history known to have witnessed the assassinations of three different presidents, his father, James Garfield, and William McKinley. After he saw anarchist Leon Czolgosz shoot McKinley, he vowed he would never again appear in public with an incumbent president. Maryland 30-28hoover

Ohio State v. Penn State – The first attempt to assassinate a president was on Andrew Jackson by Richard Lawrence, a house painter. Both of his guns misfired, however—an event that statisticians say could occur only once in 125,000 times. Andrew Jackson then chased Lawrence with his walking stick. Ohio State -19 1/2ford

Oklahoma v. Texas Tech – James Madison (1751-1836) was the shortest president of the United States, standing at only 5’4”. He never weighed more than 100 pounds. Oklahoma -14coolidge

The Guru’s Take

Sparty is hurting. The Spartans have not endured a four-game losing streak before under Mark Dantonio. Their defense has been terrible. There is a serious possibility that a team that made the CFP semifinals last year could end up missing a bowl game altogether. The Guru finds it hard to believe it will happen so fast, so it’s time for some Guru-fied assistance.  To turn the season around, MSU has to go to Maryland this week and find a way to stop Maryland’s improved team and solid running game. It will be tough, but they will do it, without blowing leads like they’ve done so often this season. Spartans eke out the victory, 34-30mondale

James & the Swamettes

The official offspring of the Swami wanted to keep the same theme with a focus on childhood.

Saints v. Chiefs – No president has ever been an only child. Chiefs 42-31deweyChargers v. Falcons – James Earl “Jimmy” Carter (1924-) was the first president to be born in a hospital. Falcons 38-21jimmy

Vikings v. Eagles – Lincoln Logs are named after Abraham Lincoln and the log cabin where he was born. John Lloyd Wright, son of famous architect Francis Lloyd Wright, invented them. Vikings 24-10hhh

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Categories: Football

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