Swami the Magazine: 30 Years Later

Greetings and welcome to another edition of Swami the Magazine! Last week was a week of upheaval with 5 of the top 9 teams going down in defeat. Interestingly, that same weekend last year 4 out of the top 10 lost. It might be worth watching in the future for calendar and numerology aficionados. Speaking of learning from the past, the group of films having their 30th anniversary in 2016 was surprisingly good and the staff decided that we should try to look to those (our past) to give insight into what will happen this weekend (our future). This week you will get a dose of nostalgia with each pick while seeing how they color the future. Of course, for those of you under 30, there will be no nostalgia which will make the Swami feel old. Just treat this as a history lesson and don’t mention that you weren’t born yet!

The Picks!

Louisville v Houston – Hoosiers This is fitting as Houston tries to be Hickory High against the big bad team with the Heisman front-runner. Unfortunately, unlike in Hoosiers, they will come up short. Where’s Jimmy Chitwood when you need him?!  Louisville 38-331-hoosiers

Georgia Tech v Virginia – Platoon  – Last week the Yellow Jackets had a next man up mentality after losing two leaders before the game even started and came through with the surprising victory in Blacksburg. Look for more of the same on the scoreboard this week. Georgia Tech 27-202-platoon

Nebraska v Maryland Transformers the Movie – We’re not talking about the live action movies, we’re talking the animated film.  Tommy Armstrong Jr. went down in the Ohio State game in a scary scene that had people as shocked as when Optimus Prime met his demise. Then last week he had a comeback of Rodimus Prime proportions! Can he keep that up? Hopefully, but it’s more likely he’ll scare Husker fans one more time before coming back as Ultra Magnus.  Nebraska 34-243-transformers

TCU v Oklahoma State – Short Circuit – So after a season where everyone thought that TCU was dead, it turns out that Johnny 5 is alive!! This week seems like a week where one of these two will Short Circuit again, but It’s hard to know which. Naturally that means the Swami is going one way while the Guru goes the other. Who will be right? Only the Mullet knows!  TCU 45-424-short-circuit

LSU v Florida – Crocodile Dundee – If Mick could tame crocodiles, then I expect the Tigers to tame the Alligators. Just remember… that’s not a knife. This is a knife! LSU 24-175-croc-dundee

Michigan v Indiana – Pretty in Pink – Michigan thought they could stave off the effects of Iowa’s pink visiting locker room by hanging up banners and pictures, but the Pink won out last week. I wouldn’t count on that happening again in Indiana. (If it was going to happen, I clearly would have picked Hoosiers for this game) Michigan 30-216-pretty-in-pink

Colorado v Washington State – Stand by Me – It seems like the last time Colorado was relevant in football, it was almost 30 years ago, but they have actually returned this year. The fans that have stood by the team are being rewarded this year with a very good year. This matchup between division leaders in the Pac 12 (how weird is that with these two?!) should be as good as the movie was. Colorado 27-237-stand-by-me

Clemson v Wake Forest – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – Clemson spent Sunday running their dad’s car in reverse to try to take away last Saturday’s result, but to no avail. So they’ve decided instead to keep that in the past and try not to drive the car down a cliff by losing again. Folks in South Carolina want to have a parade soon, so they’ll be looking for a Tiger rebound this week. Clemson 40-218-ferris-bueller

Oklahoma v West Virginia – Top Gun – Who is Maverick and who is Iceman? Not sure, but the loser will be Goose when it comes to the postseason. This is a battle for the Big 12-2 and it should be a doozie. The Swami is feeling a victory Soon(er). That should set up a matchup with OSU that will truly be Bedlam. Oklahoma 28-279-top-gun

USC v UCLA – Aliens – A world where Colorado and Washington State are on top of the Pac 12 has to feel like a world where aliens have invaded for Los Angelino College Football fans. Of course, when aliens attack, Trojan warriors are likely to be better than bears in protecting us. USC 30-2710-aliens

The Guru’s Take

The Big 12 stopped the Guru’s skid last week, with West Virginia handing Texas its first home loss of the season. So it’s another Big 12 week this week, with the possibility of a Bedlam Big 12 championship matchup giving lots of Oklahomans even more football fever this Saturday. The Swami correctly predicts that the Sooners will go to Morgantown and dispatch the no-top-25-wins Mountaineers back to third place in the conference. However, the Swami is also buying the Vegas line that TCU will triumph over Okie State in Dallas. Not so fast, my friend!  Remember, OSU only has one true loss (the Central Michigan officiating debacle that gave an extra untimed down is the single most consequential screwup by officials this year), and is looking almost as good as Mike Gundy’s mullet.  TCU did have an off week to prepare after decimating Baylor, so a tough game is expected. But for the Cowboys, the Horned Frogs are merely one more obstacle to that Bedlam showdown for all the marbles. Expect pistols to be firing enough to seal the victory. Cowboys 37, Horned Frogs 31

James & the Swamettes

James and the Swamettes are a bit younger than the Swami, so they decided to pick movies celebrating their 10th Anniversary.

Tampa Bay v Kansas City – Cars – James had to choose what was his go to movie for years. However, unlike McQueen, he sees a Win for KC. Chiefs 24-17

Baltimore v Dallas – Curious George – The littlest Swamette picks the monkey because he’s funny. She picks the Cowboys because the Ravens play defense like the man with the yellow hat. Cowboys 27-21

Green Bay v Washington – Over the Hedge – The eldest of the offspring of the Swami is unabashedly biased and thinks that Green Bay will go “weed hacker” on Washington. Packers 30-24

Until next time… The SWAMI!!


Categories: Football


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