Swami the Magazine: Absolutely Villainous

Greetings and welcome to another edition of Swami the Magazine!! (WARNING: This edition is an absolute comic book nerdfest. If you aren’t a Marvel movie fan, you may just want to skim.)  The Swami saw Thor: Ragnarok yesterday and it clearly colored his thinking for the theme this week. Now in years past, the Swami has done Marvel heroes or movies as a theme, but this time he’s going to a different place. This time the Swami has paired a Marvel Cinematic Universe villain with each losing team that best reflects the characteristics of that villain. The StM staff did request that a second warning be added to this column. There are puns. Lots of puns. Comic book nerd puns. Be ye warned. Let’s get to…

The Villains!! (i.e. The Picks)

Penn State v. Michigan State – Loki – Michigan State is that team that vacillates from good to bad to evil to our hero almost weekly. And they wear green. Loki likes green. A couple of horns on their helmets and they’d be perfect for the god of mischief. Apparently that makes Penn State Thor. Penn State 34-31

Clemson v. NC State – Thanos – Pretty high praise for kind of an upstart like NC State, but they are wreaking havoc on many of the ACC contenders. FSU and Louisville are already victims, while Notre Dame escaped. Now Clemson stands as the next team to try to avoid falling. Clemson 30-28

Washington State v. Stanford – Ultron If any school was going to create an AI being that could end up taking over the world, Stanford would be toward the top of the list. Hopefully Wazzou has the “vision” to take care of them #PunIntended. Washington State 38-31

Oklahoma State v. Oklahoma – Red Skull Hydra existed for decades after the Red Skull and caused bedlam for all the good guys. At one point Oklahoma cut off one defensive coordinator and two more took his place. It’s pretty clear the Sooners are the bad guys in this. Oklahoma State 45-42

TCU v. Texas – Hela After years of banishment and even early season issues, the Longhorns are starting to act like they are on the way back. And if they get all the way back, there could be destruction (i.e. Ragnarok) for the rest of the Big Twelve Minus Two. And her headgear looks longhorn-ish at times… TCU 21-17

Georgia Tech v. Virginia – Winter Soldier Thought I was going with “Yellow Jacket” on this one didn’t ya?! Sorry… Tech are the good guys so no fitting villain for them. Virginia however can often be good and a loyal friend. At least until someone says the magic words (e.g. You’re playing Tech this week) and they turn on you and try to beat you senseless. Just not kind. Thankfully, there’s a vibranium triple option waiting. Georgia Tech 31-21

Alabama v. LSU – Yellow Jacket The boys on the bayou continue to try to come up with the formula that the original architect (Bama = Pym) has. It hasn’t been successful so far, but they’ve gotten close at times. If they can find just the right combination, they could ascend to the throne. So close. Alabama 34-17

Miami v. Virginia Tech – Malekith Everyone wants to know what a Hokie is. The Swami is postulating the theory that it could easily mean “Dark Elves”. I mean they are known as the Druchii, and we all know that at certain times “Dr” can sound like “H” and then “ch” can be “k”. So it clearly means Hokies. That being said… Miami 24-17

USC v. Arizona – Dormammu The Wildcats have a great plan for domination, and can very often execute on that plan. Unfortunately, USC has come to bargain. Strange, eh?  USC 27-24

Northwestern v. Nebraska – Ronan What better choice than Ronan for the once powerful Huskers? Full of legend and bluster with a cool house, but ultimately can be beaten by a kid stuck in the 80’s, a girl, a raccoon, a tree, and a guy that talks about his poop. Sorry guys, it’s time to blow things up and start over. Northwestern 21-16


 The Guru’s Take

Bedlam comes a little early this year, and the Guru still sees a path to the playoff for the winner…as long as the winner is OU. While the secondary has been shaky (and OSU is known to have quite the passing game), the Sooners tend to step up against their in-state rivals. History is on their side. This will be a shootout, no doubt, with two of the top four offenses in the nation facing off – but Baker Mayfield will find a way to get it done on the road in Stillwater. Sooners 38, Cowboys 35

[Editor’s Note: One could say that the Guru continues to “Vulture” picks from the Swami! And we all know the Guru’s the villain!]

[Swami’s Note: Who knew the Editor has jokes?!]

James & the Swamettes

Instead of superheroes, the official offspring of the Swami decided to pick a Halloween candy for each NFL matchup this week. For some reason, that’s been on their minds!

Chiefs v. Cowboys – Hershey’s Chocolate Bar – The original Swamette loves a good Hershey’s chocolate bar more than anything. She also loves the Chiefs more than any other. With Ezekiel Elliott now out for Dallas, She also [still] loves the Chiefs chances to steal one in Dallas. Chiefs 23-17  

Falcons v. Panthers – Reese’s Pumpkin – Swamette 2.0 decided to pick one of her daddy’s favorite candies. Peanut butter and chocolate are great. More peanut butter than a regular peanut butter cup is even better. I’m sure she’s just kissing up to the Swami, but it’s working! Falcons 28-27

Colts v. Texans – Kit Kat – James is like his dad… poor kid. He feels like Houston got a very bad “break” with the injury to Deshaun Watson, so he feels like they need a better break so he chose a Kit Kat. Unfortunately that may not save them from the Tom Savage era. Colts 23-21

Until next time… THE SWAMI!!


Categories: Football

Tags: , , , , , ,

1 reply

  1. After a depressing weekend where NW lost to Pitt State, ending the Bearcats 36 game unbeaten streak (formerly the longest in all NCAA divisions), the Bearcats must “Wright” (HC pun) the ship against the evil “Flying Tiger[s]” (http://marvel.com/universe/Flying_Tiger#axzz4xPLiUdsT) of Ft. Hays State. Another loss for NW will drop the Bearcats out of the NCAA playoffs and straight to the Mineral Water Bowl. For the Bearcats, the FHSU game is in Maryville on Senior Day, so there is extra incentive for the Bearcats. Ft. Hays can win the outright MIAA title in Maryville and lock down a first or second seed in NCAA Super Region 3 by defeating Northwest. Tigers and Bearcats, oh my.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: